Per the script, I'm writing about something bothering me. People with a particular family structure have expressed their displeasure with how we run our own. This debate is as old as human thought, with the elderly matriarch voicing displeasure with how the younger generations live. With any system, a popular one arises, and it becomes the norm. This can be subject to bias when someone growing up in a particular system feels like it is the right one for everyone else involved. Else they can use their experience to reason why a particular system can still work.
And you know which system is correct? All and none of them.
But the problem here happens when a group living in one system disapproves of a group living in a different one. They can say such hurtful things but forget to take a long look in the mirror.
Covid—for better and worse—has altered the rules many people live by. A social gathering in 2019 is no longer precisely the same as one in 2023. I've found that many people quickly forget that a person is a human, and humans have more going on with them than just their opinions about Covid. I've discussed this with people and heard stories of anxiety that manifested and continued long after the heart of the pandemic had passed. For some, it is new; for others, it has been there forever and not noticed until now.
I've long been introverted. I prefer to avoid crowds and groups. At many gatherings over my career in physical spaces, I would often slip away and disappear from the group. If walking with a group of six, lagging behind in the back, turning the corner of a city block meant a chance to change direction and escape before the group would notice. As the pandemic winds down, I'm comfortable with my tendencies. People that strive for "normal" can be hiding from their own problems, unseen through mental walls erected over a lifetime of being told to "toughen up" or to "deal with it."
Again, as the years pass by, I've learned the lesson of empathy. Just because I dislike groups and situate my social group in a particular way, that does not mean others should live as I do. This goes for my social group, this goes for work habits, and this goes for my attitudes about Covid. Yet, the disapproval still seems to come. Sometimes fast, sometimes harsh, and never seemingly from someone who has given it the proper thought it deserves.
It is easy to lash out at these people in private. They all have complex attributes that make up their own system, and when they don't match your own, sometimes you question them. But why openly question them? Of course, there are valid reasons to do so. Is someone drinking too much? Are they putting themselves or others in real danger? Then go right ahead. Make the call. But don't do it for someone who wants to arrange their social system in a particular way, assuming those involved are not toxic people.
Long live the ignorant.